


Cards Against Roosterteeth

by KelseyWrites



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 10:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2504198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KelseyWrites/pseuds/KelseyWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s a 4am game of CAH, what could possibly happen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cards Against Roosterteeth

**Author's Note:**

> Just imagine the LazersTrEAM went on for 24 hours. Also there are no swears or drinking, but it's a CAH game sooo... that's why it gets the teen rating.

You sit on the couch next to Barbara, your head on her shoulder, watching her scroll her tumblr dash and check the tweet deck every so often. It was nearly 4am, so things had slowed down a bit since earlier, though now the UK was up and getting around. You feel a tap on your shoulder and look over sleepily as a cup of Starbucks gets thrust into your face. You grab onto it like it was a life preserver and you were drowning.

“God bless you Chris Demarais.” He leans down and kisses your head as you take the first sip.

“Well, can’t have my best gal fall asleep on the stream can I?” He sits down on the couch next to you, his arm going around your shoulders. “I also brought donuts.” He produces a pink box and places it in your lap.

“Apple fritters?”

“Fresh from the oven or fryer…” You turn your head and kiss him on the cheek as Barbara opens the box in our lap.

“I hope you brought enough to share.” She said as she dug one out and popped it into her mouth.

“Of course I did.”

“Thank you, but what are you doing here? Don’t you have filming today?” You take a fritter out of the box and bite into it, moaning.

“Yeah, but I figured I’d wake up an hour early and bring you presents, check up on you.”

“Are those fritters?!” Brandon comes over from the gaming station that was set up and pulls open the box.

“Why don’t you take the box and see if Kyle and Patrick want some?” You nudge the box with a hand, Brandon nods and grabs it. You turn back to Chris.

“It was sweet of you to come check up on me.”

“Ugh you guys are gross. There’s gifs already.” Barbara laughs and turns her laptop to you. Yup, there you are, starbucks being shoved into your face, smiling up at Chris as he leans down to kiss you.

“They tagged us right? So I can reblog it when I get home or wake up, whichever.”

“Of course.”

“Yay. Guys, thanks for giffing everything. I love it.” You look over at the camera and lift up your starbucks in a salute. “Don’t forget to go to roosterteeth.com/lazerteam and throw us some money. We’re pretty close to the next stretch goal, and we’ve hit so many today, it’s been amazing.”

“Yeah, you guys are great, whooo.” Barbara lifts up her fritter in salute. Chris looks around the near empty room. It was just you, Babs, Brandon, Kyle, and then Patrick in the sound booth.

“So what, you’re here for another hour before the next shift comes in?”

“Yup, Burnie and Ashley are coming back to wrap up the stream.”

“What did you guys have planned for your last hour?”

“Well,” you take a sip of your coffee, “I was going to nap, Barbara was gonna man the tweet deck and probably also nap, and then Brandon and Kyle are playing…Halo I think?” You look over at Kyle who just nods. You look over and see Brandon still in the sound booth talking with Patrick.

“Is the Cards against Humanity box still here?” Chris looks around.

“Yeah I think they leave it here, but they already played earlier…”

“Well did you play?”

“No, it was 2spoopy. Kerry, Miles, Babs, Kyle, and Josh. I manned the tweet deck and played some games with people. Besides, I don’t think anyone wants to see it get played again, I heard earlier was pretty funny.”

“Nah, come on. Kyle? Cards against Humanity?”

“Sure, why not. Let me just…die. Okay. I’ll go grab it.”

“Oh Chris, no one wants to watch it again…:

“Uh, actually a lot of people do want to see you play, little miss goody two shoes.” Barbara turns the laptop towards you again, showing off the tweet deck.”

“Okay, well do you guys wanna play again?” You look up at Barbara who just shrugs.

“Something to keep us awake.” Kyle comes running back with the box in his hands.

“Yeah, something to do. BRANDON!” Kyle yells over at Brandon whose head snaps up. “Cards against Humanity, let’s go!” Kyle hands you the box and then grabs the coffee table. “How should we set this up?”

“Well, we’re already on the couch, where’s the camera pointed? Can we get that one pointing with, uh, me in the center? And then you and Brandon could sit on each end of the table?” Kyle just nods and puts the table down. You put the box on it and you can Chris start sorting the cards. Everyone gets their cards.

“Okay, uh, Brandon, you pick the first black card.” Brandon picks from the pile.

“ ‘Dear sir or madame, we regret to inform you that the Office of -blank- has denied your request for -blank-.” Brandon repeats the question as you sort through your cards. “First one on top.” Kyle and Chris hand down their cards, and you add yours into their pile and hand them to Brandon; Barbara bites her lip, takes two cards, and then hands them to Brandon.

“Okay. ‘Dear sir or madame, we regret to inform you that the Office of Lactation has denied your request for Patti Mayonnaise.’” Everyone gets a good chuckle from that one, “ ‘Dear sir or madame, we regret to inform you that the Office of my manservant, Claude, has denied your request for throwing a virgin into the volcano.’ ”

“Oh my god that’s so awful!” You laugh, covering your face as you lean back on the couch.

“ ‘We regret to inform you that the Office of The Boy Scouts of America has denied your request for the homosexual agenda.’ Kudos to that person, that was a good hand. ‘We regret to inform you that the Office of Catapults has denied your request for three consecutive seconds of happiness.’” Everyone laughs as Brandon looks at the cards. “I think I’m going to have to go with the virgin in the volcano.” Barbara raises her arms in victory, snatching the black card from the table.

“Y/N which one was yours?” She looks over at you.

“I had the Boy Scouts one.”

“That was a close second.” Brandon said.

“Really?! I liked the catapults one, was that you Kyle?” He shakes his head.

“Patti Mayonnaise.”

“Catapults are pretty fun.” Chris says nodding his head.

“Okay, here we go ‘Kids these days with their iPods and their internet. In my day, all we needed to pass the time was -blank-.” Everyone looks through their cards and you can hear tittering. You had nothing good, well you had one card, but…oh well. You threw it in the pile with everyone else.

“Kyle?”

“Yeah here.”

“ ‘Kids these days with their Ipods and their internet. In my day, all we needed to pass the time was The Blood of Christ.’ oh my god.”

“Yeah I’m sure that’s what he said.” You mutter and everyone laughs.

“ ‘In my day, all we needed to pass the time was smallpox blankets.’” That got some laughing groans, “ ‘In my day, all we needed to pass the time was vigorous jazz hands’ ‘In my day, all we needed to pass the time was getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.’ I think, in honor or Ray, I’ll go with vigorous jazz hands!” She holds the card up and Brandon reaches over for it.

“Alright, who had smallpox blankets?” You raise your hand a little. “Y/N!”

“It was all I had!” You say laughing. “Alright, my turn.” You pick a card up from the deck and read it silently to yourself first, laughing. “Okay, okay. ‘-Blank-. That’s how I want to die.’”

“Alright, I got it the winning card, no one else bother.” Chris hands you his card with a smile.

“You’re sure of that are you?” You smile back at him.

“Well, I know you. You’ll like it.” Everyone else hands you their cards and you shuffle them up.

“‘Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game. That’s how I want to die.’ ‘Concealing a boner. That’s how I want to die.’” You stop to laugh with everyone else. “ ‘Nicolas Cage. That’s how I want to die.’ ‘A middle-aged man on roller skates. That’s how I want to die.’ Oh god these are all great…uh…give me a second.” You flick through the cards again. “I’m going with pretty pretty princess.”

“What! Nicolas Cage didn’t get you?” Chris asks, shocked but with a smile on his face.

“They all got me! But come on, death by pretty pretty princess board game!” Kyle snatches the black card from the table.

“I, personally, was a fan of the boner card.” Barbara said.

“Of course you’re a fan of your own card!” You say laughing. You kept going round and round, the rounds being quick and full of laughs, you guys didn’t even notice the time until Burnie and Ashley walked in.

“Cards Against Humanity again?” You all look up Burnie.

“Yeah, god is it 5 already?” He looks at his watch.

“Little after.”

“Okay, last round then we’re going. Kyle, games master, let’s see if we can break the tie between Chris and I.” Kyle grins and picks up the last black card of the night and laughs.

“What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?”

“Chris, I’m sorry but I think I win this game.” You nudge his shoulder as you hand your card to Kyle.

“You so sure about that?” He smiles over at you as he hands his card to Kyle.

“Pretty sure.” You lean forward and place a small kiss on his lips and then lean back on the couch.

“Gross, okay, here’s mine and Brandon’s card. And by the way, I hope neither of you win this round and you have to tie or play another round.” Barbara sticks her tongue out at the two of you as she leans forward giving Kyle the cards.

“Alright ‘What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?’ ‘A disappointing birthday party.’ ‘Having shotguns for legs.’ ‘An unhinged ferris wheel rolling into the sea.’ or ‘A hopeless amount of spiders.’”

“Those are all so horribly wonderful.” Ashley says laughing as she comes back with coffee from the kitchen.

“I”m going with a hopeless amount of spiders.” Kyle says.

“WHAT?” You and Chris both shout.

“Come on Kyle, shotguns for legs! It’s so useful!” You yell.

“Unhinged ferris wheel!” Barbara just laughs as she reaches over and snatches the black card.

“Burnie, boss man, you wanna break the tie between these two?” She looks over at him.

“They’re tied?” He points at you guys. Barbara nods. “Alright, let me see.” He looks down at the stacks of black cards and then finally picks one. “Alright, Y/N and Chris only. ‘Next on ESPN 2, the world series of -blank-.” You laugh and almost immediately hand a card to Burnie. Chris sits next to you, staring at his hand before finally selecting one and handing it over. Burnie mixes them up a bit before handing them to Ashley.

“Uh oh, Y/N might have won this. Quick, we need a trophy.” Barbara stands and runs off the set.

“‘Next on ESPN 2, the World Series of dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.’ or ‘Next on ESPN 2, the World Series of swiftly achieving orgasm.’” Ashley finishes reading them and looks over at Burnie who was laughing.

“Chandelier.” You stand, arms raised in victory.

“In your face Demarais!”

“You’re lucky I had bad cards.”

“The whole game?”

“Ohhhhh.” Barbara comes back with something in her hands.

“Hey we tied!”

“Y/N, I am proud to crown you, Queen of Cards Against Humanity, clean-ish edition.” She holds up the Achievement Hunter crown.

“Thank you, thank you.” You bend down a little as she places it on your head.

“Alright, you and Chris get out of here, get some sleep.” She hugs you and Chris slings his arm around your shoulders.

“Alright Queenie, let’s get you out of here.” You wave to everyone, say goodbye to the camera, and you and Chris walk out towards the kitchen. “Shouldn’t we uh, put that back in the AH office?” He nods to your head. You reach up and pull the crown off.

“Probably.” You walk over to the office and toss it inside onto the couch.

“We’re going to get you home and in bed, and then I have to head off for the day.” You walk back over to Chris’ waiting arm. Slipping back under it you lean your head on his chest as you walk out.


End file.
